Pieces Of Me
by myownwayx
Summary: When Jack is called to war, he returns home after two years to find that everything has changed. Do the memories of the war ruin the chances of him starting a family with Ianto? MPreg. Jack/Ianto
1. Chapter 1

Pieces Of Me

Prologue

My Dearest Ianto

Know that no matter how far from you I find myself, I will always be with you. It kills me to leave you but I have no choice. I've been called away to war. A war that I do not believe in, and a war in which I do not wish to fight. I've lived a thousand life times and with you it felt like the first. A cliché I know you'd roll your eyes at, but one that's true. I love you. I've never told you to your face. Every night when you fall asleep on my chest, I whisper it to you. You always hold on a little bit harder when I do. I'd give anything and everything a thousand times over if I could to stay with you. But a life time in prison is what I'd get if I don't go. A life time in prison would be worse then time away from you. I have faith that I'll come back to you. I can't ask you to wait for me. That would be selfish. I want you to be happy. I want you to have the normal life I know you long for. The normal life I know you could never have with me.

Know that I love you. Know that I will always love you. I don't know when I'll be back; months, years. But I will be back. I'll find you, and if you've moved on, then I'll accept that. Just know that I'll be back... Please don't give up on the memories of what we had, of what we could have had.

Explain to the team that I am sorry. I want to leave you in charge. I know that you will be the best person to look after Torchwood for me. You're the most capable person I know for the job.

I love you.

Yours forever.

Jack

x

Ianto bit back sobs as he read the letter again. It had been two years since Jack had left for the war that he knew nothing about. When he saw news clips from the war in Iraq and how many soldiers die every day, his heart ached. He'd never know if Jack was dead. Though his lover could never die, there was no knowing what his opponents could do to him given the chance. Ianto didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it. He had to be strong. Jack was coming back; he was waiting for him. He had to.

Ianto was about to settle in bed for the night, but when he heard the screams of a scared child coming from the next room he shot out of bed as though it was burning him, and raced to the nursery where he heard his little boy call for his daddy. He bent over the small cot and picked him up, bright blue eyes; scared, looked up at him, messy brown hair sticking up cutely. "Daddy." He sobbed as he held onto him tight.

Ianto held onto him tighter, singing to him softly as he tried to calm him down. He had to be strong, not just for him, but for their son.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has added this to their story alert and read it (: A special thank you to those who have reviewed: **

_Galadriel1010 - _Thank you, I'm glad you like it. I hope this chapter is just as sweet as the prologue (:

_SpecialFrancine - _Thank you! Hehe, I had to make Jack say 'I love you' it would have been mean on me if he left and didn't say it!

_Undoubtfuly lost - _Glad I found your weakness, I shall be taking advantage of this on many occasions :D

_Phoenixclara - _Hehe. Thank you for the review. Hope that's a good mix (:

**Chapter 1 **

Ianto tossed and turned restlessly on the sofa, a blanket was draped over his chest. It was late and he'd finally managed to get his son to sleep, he'd expected to fall asleep the minute his head hit the pillow like he did most nights but when he got into bed he couldn't sleep, his whole body had ached with exhaustion but sleep failed to take him. So at 3 in the morning he had stalked into the front room frustrated with himself and turned on the television hoping that would help; it didn't.

He was sure lack of sleep was getting to him as he sat up when he thought he heard a noise. A slight creek, he frowned. It must have been the wind. He went to move back into a lying position when he heard another noise, a noise that definitely wasn't the wind. The front door closing.

Ianto jumped up straight away, he didn't keep his gun at home, having a baby and a gun in the same house just wasn't a good idea. He grabbed a baseball bat that he'd had since he was a kid and walked towards the front door. He dropped the bat and his mouth fell open in shock when he saw the familiar blue jacket that he had once loved to be wrapped in.

"J-Jack?" His voice was nothing more then a whisper. He didn't trust his voice to speak.

Jack turns and looks at him. Ianto gasps when he sees him. He's still as beautiful as he's ever been. But there's something behind his eyes. A pain that wasn't there before. He looks older, not physically but emotionally. Ianto can tell from just one look that he'd seen horrible things in the two years that he's been away.

He doesn't say anything. He just stares at Ianto. Stares through him. "Jack?" Ianto repeats a little steadier now.

Jack still doesn't say anything, he just moves forward. A predatory look falls in his eyes as he stares at Ianto. Gulping, Ianto moves back, his feet tripping slightly and he falls back against the wall, scared. He'd seen Jack look like this only once before; and then he had had a gun to his head, ready to shoot.

"Jack... You're scaring me." Ianto says quietly. Jack stops right in front of him, his hands move forward, Ianto didn't know whether or not he was going to punch him, or embrace him. He did neither. When a cry came from the nursery Jack stalked towards the noise.

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**Sorry for the short chapter... As i get back in the swing of writing Torchwood i promise the chapters will get longer... **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed (: x **

**Chapter 2 **

Ianto rushed behind Jack to the nursery. His baby was up in his cot, his arms reaching out to be picked up. He felt his heart beat speed up as Jack advanced towards the cot, Ianto moved closer too. "J-Jack..."

"What is this?" Jack snarled.

"What? It's..."

Jack turned around faster then Ianto could even blink and before he knew what was happening he was pressed hard against the wall, his head hitting the concrete with a thud. "You've been with someone else." Jack said through gritted teeth, his face pushing right into Ianto's face. Angry eyes glared into scared ones.

"What? No...No I haven't!" Ianto said, finding it hard to talk with Jack so close to him.

"Explain it then!" Jack shouted loudly making the young boy in the cot start crying even more.

"You're scaring him." Ianto says trying to sound stronger then he felt.

"You've been whoring yourself out." Jack says glaring at him, he pushes him back against the wall harder.

"He's yours!" Ianto screams, tears of hurt and anger boil up in his eyes but he refuses to let them fall.

Jack stares at him, his eyes emotionless, no life in them like there used to be. Ianto doesn't like it. It scares him more then the fact that Jack has him pushed against the wall so viscously.

He lets him go and Ianto rubs his shoulders slightly. Jack goes back to the cot and stares at the crying boy. Ianto watches nervously, he moves forward hating that his baby is crying. He picks him up and chubby hands grip his hair, bright blue eyes stare at him. Ianto uses his thumb and wipes his face softly. "Shh it's okay baby, daddy's here." Ianto whispers softly.

"Dadda." He grins and cuddled against him. "Dadda fight the monsters."

"Dadda will fight the monsters." Ianto promises and kisses his cheek. He looks up at Jack nervously, there's no double guessing that the baby's Jack. It was like his double.

Jack stares at them silently, the emotionless look on his face still there. "I'm going to bed. Keep it quiet." Jack says and walks out of the room. Ianto stares at him defeated. He puts his baby back to sleep kissing his forehead softly. He doesn't walk into the bedroom, he doesn't know what it would be like to sleep in the same bed as Jack right now, he's not too sure if he wants to. Instead he heads back to the front room and curls in a ball on the sofa knowing that sleep wasn't going to take him again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed/added to alerts, you guys are the reason why I write (: x**

**Chapter 3 **

Ianto woke up with a sore neck. He hadn't slept in the best position and he knew during the rest of the day he would be paying for it. He sat up and stretched. For a split moment he let his mind convince him that all that had happened last night was that he had fallen asleep in front of the television and that was the reason why he was asleep on the sofa. But just as he was starting to believe that he heard foot steps on the stairs and the pain in his heart brought him back to reality.

He got up reluctantly. Looking at the clock he noted that he had just over an hour to get his son ready for nursery and then he'd head to work. He walked towards the nursery and looked over to the stairs where Jack was standing.

"You didn't come to bed." Jack said watching him closely. Ianto noted that he had pulled on an old pair of sweat pants and a plain tee. Ianto hadn't thrown any of Jack's stuff away, deep down he always believed that Jack would come back to him, he'd just hoped that he would come back and everything would go back to normal, back to how they were before he went away. Ianto always knew his expectations were too high.

"No." Ianto says simply.

"Why?" Jack asks staring at him confused. "Thought we'd have a lot to catch up on." Ianto stares at him in disbelief. "I'm joking. I just thought it would be nice to you know, lye next to you."

Ianto, for a minute, feels as though nothings changed. Jack had started to talk like that more and more before he left. Slowly changing their sexual relationship to a couple and Ianto had fallen for it then, he didn't want to fall for it again; not now anyway, not when his neck still ached from where Jack had gripped him tight last night. Instead of saying anything, Ianto moved towards the nursery, he put the light on and walked over to the cot and smiled. He gently woke up his son watching as he turned away wanting to go back to sleep.

"Ianto, what's...What's his name?" Jack asked, standing at the door watching them.

Ianto looked back at him. "Jack." He whispers. "His name's Jack."

Feeling his heart swell, Jack looked at him, a small smile made it's way on his lips and he let it settle there, he hadn't smiled in a long time, it felt weird to smile now. "Jack." He smiled.

"I needed one Jack in my life." Ianto says softly, he picks up his son and starts talk to him, gently encouraging him out of his sleepy state. "Come on baby, gotta get you up and dressed for nursery."

"What nursery does he go to?" Jack asked, feeling as though he needed to take an interest in his sons life, even though he still couldn't quite believe that he had fathered such a beautiful baby boy.

"Leap frog." Ianto smiles. "He just started there properly." He adds. Jack nods and watches as Ianto gets him ready for school. Before he left Jack had never even thought of Ianto as good with children; they had never mentioned it before.

Jack bit his lip as he watched how cute his son was. He was currently playing with Ianto's shirt as he got him dressed, talking nonsense as he did so. Ianto was a natural, talking back in the same baby language, pretending to have a conversation with his son making him giggle excitedly.

"Do...Do you think I could come with you to the nursery?" Jack asks.

Ianto stops and looks at Jack, he was confused to why all of a sudden Jack was interested, a part of him wanted to scream at him that he couldn't be hot one minute and cold the next, but the bigger part of him felt proud and relieved. He'd missed Jack for the two years he had gone and now all he wanted was for Jack to have a part in his life. "Of course." Ianto finds himself smiling.

Jack smiles back, "Maybe after we could get a coffee? Talk?" When Ianto nodded Jack suddenly felt his stomach turn, was he ready to talk about what had happened? No. But he knew that they both had a lot to talk about.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry about the delay. My mum was taken into hospital and I haven't really been in the writing mood. Things are okay now, so hopefully I can update at least once a week now. Tell me what you guys think of this, and what you think will happen (: x**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

The walk to the nursery consists of Jack and Ianto walking and holding Jack's hand, every time they reach a kerb he insists on being swung so they do. Jack loves the way that his son giggles every time they do it, and acts surprised even though he begged them to do it.

"What are you doing in nursery today?" Ianto asks him as they walk across the bay.

"We're making a fire truck!" His son exclaims happily, Ianto smiles and chuckles when he starts to make the noises of a fire truck, Jack giggles and joins in with him, his son looking at him in awe and wonder.

"What colours the truck going to be?" Ianto asks, and Jack realises that he's trying to develop his skills, he'd always just thought that parents spoke to their children to speak to them, but watching them now Jack suddenly felt as though he'd missed out on so much.

"It's going to be." The young boy looks up at the sky and sucks on his lip. "Green."

"A green fire truck?" Ianto asks smiling at him.

"A Green fire truck with pink spots." He nods excitedly. Jack looks at Ianto wondering if he's going to correct him, tell him that fire trucks are red and crush his creativity. Ianto had to everything right, and always used to correct anything that anyone said that was wrong, even the minor things in life.

"That sounds like an awesome fire truck." Ianto smiles, Jack looks at him surprised. He hadn't expected that.

The rest of the walk consists of much of the same thing. Jack doesn't say much, he joins in slightly but is content with just watching them interact. He would never have guessed Ianto to be so good with children; hell he had never expected them to have a child. The wonders of the universe eh? When they pull up to the nursery Jack wonders what Ianto is going to say.

Jack wasn't used to feeling nervous, he'd never really cared about what people thought of him or his partner but walking into the nursery, he felt as though everyone's eyes were on him. His son let go of Ianto's hand and ran up to his nursery room and rang the bell, a few moments later a tall girl answered she scooped him up in her arms and asked him how he was. Jack smiled watching his son talk excitedly.

"Morning, Ianto, how are you?" She smiles at Ianto, Ianto walks in, he waves to the other children who all wave back and hangs up Jack's things on his peg.

"I'm good thank you." He smiles. "He's been good this morning, a little excited. His dads back." He gestures to Jack who looks sheepishly embarrassed. What had Ianto told everyone?

"Hey, it's nice to meet you." She holds out her hand for him to shake, which he does with a smile.

"Hey," He smiles not too sure of what to say.

"Daddy!" Jack giggles and holds his arms out. Jack takes him and bounces him slightly.

"You going to be a good boy today champ?" Jack smiles playing with his hair. He nods and kisses his cheek sloppily and signals to get down, Jack puts him on the floor and his son hugs Ianto's leg tight before running off to play.

"Would you still like me to baby sit tonight?" Kelly asks smiling at Ianto.

"If something doesn't come up hopefully we can pick him up. If not please?"

"Of course." She smiles. Ianto nods. "Have a good day."

"You too." Ianto smiles, he calls out bye and heads out, Jack following him.

"She baby sits?" Jack asks as they walk down the street.

"Sometimes with Torchwood and everything it's hard to get to the nursery in time to pick him up at six." Ianto shrugs. Jack nods slowly. "It's a great nursery."

"Yeah." Jack chews his lip. "What... What did you tell them?"

"I told them what I knew." Ianto shrugs. "I told them that you were a soldier, a Captain and that you wasn't around right now." He looks down. "I guess they figured you were in Iraq."

Jack nods slowly. "They didn't say anything about him having two dads?"

"No." Ianto laughs. "His friend has two mums..." Jack raises an eyebrow and Ianto grins at him. "What was it that you used to say, it's the 21st century or something like that."

Jack chuckles. "How times have changed." He smiles easily. Ianto looks up at him and sighs. "What?" Jack asks, wondering why he was looking at him like that.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you are," Ianto whispers and blushes when he realises what he said. Jack smiles and looks at him.

"You're the beautiful one." He reaches out for him hesitantly. Ianto looks at him and leans against him, hands finding each other and holding onto them tight, fingers playing with each others.

"I missed you so much." Ianto says quietly. Jack pulls him into his arms in a fierce embrace and looks at him before kissing him hard. In that single kiss he pours everything in his soul into it. Ianto kisses him back with as much passion as he can and clings to him, he doesn't care that he's standing in the middle of the street; all he cares about that Jack's here. Jack's holding him. And nothing else matters.

"Take me home," Ianto whispers against his lips. Jack shivers and nods, he takes his hand once again and walks home, both hearts racing with anticipation at what's to come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5 **

The door didn't click in the lock before Ianto was pressed against it. Jack was there, standing in front of him, hands either side of his head, brilliant blue eyes bored into his body hungrily. Ianto whimpered, looking up at him. He was nervous. He hadn't been with anyone since he had been with Jack last and he was worried. His body had changed... what if Jack didn't get turned on by him?

"Stop thinking." Jack whispers against his ear, breath tickling his neck and ear, before a hot tongue ran over the shell of his ear and sucked lightly. Ianto's breath hitches and he pushes his body forward without thinking. Jack had a way of drawing him closer. Ianto tilted his head automatically as Jack sucked against his neck. His body shuddered when he felt teeth run down his neck before nipping lightly at his skin. "Just relax."

Ianto wasn't too sure how he could relax when his body was already burning with white pleasure. Jack always had a way of making his body ache with need with the simplest of touches. Jack brought his lips over Ianto's jaw and started to kiss along his face before getting to his lips where he kissed him as passionately as he could. Ianto moans against swollen lips and his hands wrap around his neck, his body pressing as forward as he can. Jacks hands goes to his waist and picks him up, legs automatically wrap around his waist and Jack presses him against the door. "I missed you." Jack says before kissing him again.

"Missed you." Ianto says immediately after him. Jack nods against him, he carries him to the bedroom still kissing him. He puts him on the bed and leans over him, kissing along his lips he goes to take off Ianto's shirt but Ianto takes his hands. "I..."

Jack frowns and sits back, his lips swollen and bruised from the heated kisses they had shared. "You don't want to?" Jack asks softly.

Ianto looks down, he did want to, didn't he? He shakes his head. "Too soon. Too...I..."

"I understand." Jack whispers. He curls around him, spooning him. "Will you let me hold you instead?"

"Only if you promise to never let me go."

"I promise." Jack whispers, he kisses his cheek softly and Ianto turns around and faces him, he smiles weakly before burying his face in Jack's chest, he breathes him in, it still feels like a dream that Jack's really here. "Stay like this for the rest of the day? Please? I...I need this."

"Me too." Ianto whispers.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6 **

Jack watched Ianto as he slept. He was beautiful. He had missed him more then he ever thought he could miss anyone. He was used to missing people. Missing people, things, places, it came with being immortal. He'd never really missed someone like he had missed Ianto. It was the wondering that had hurt him the most. He wondered what Ianto had done every day, every second and every minute of the day. On good days he had imagined Ianto curled up thinking about him. On even better days he'd imagined what it would have been like if he hadn't left. On bad days, the bad days were there more then the good, his mind showed him images of Ianto with other partners. Other men owning him. Having him as theirs. Ianto would always be his.

He didn't trust himself to sleep. It was bad enough closing his eyes, the darkness caught up to him at every chance it got. Unforgiving darkness turning to blood red, screams echoing around him. He tensed just thinking about it. He wouldn't sleep, when he woke up he was never himself. He...He didn't want to be that person around Ianto. He never wanted to hurt him like he had hurt so many others.

Jack was surprised at how long Ianto slept. He realised that Ianto was most likely finally at peace. He knew Ianto was a worrier and he guessed that every day Jack was gone, Ianto worried about him. But he didn't just have Jack to worry about, he had their baby. Their beautiful boy who was so much like them both that it made Jack's heart ache. He wanted to know everything. He wouldn't push Ianto for the details, but when he woke up he'd ask him and hope to be told a little more about how their son came into their lives, what he was like. He knew there were other things that needed to be asked too. He almost felt selfish for not asking them already; how was Gwen? Rhys? What happened to Torchwood without him? Jack knew Ianto still worked there, he had said so himself and there were files scattered around the house. Jack would ask them too later, right now he was happy just watching Ianto sleep.

He'd missed having sex with him. Though, he no longer thought of it as sex. He missed making love to him. He missed the way their bodies would mould into each other; the way they became one. Despite that, he was glad they stopped when they had. He wasn't ready for Ianto to see the scars the war left on him. He would hide the emotional scars as best as he could, but he knew the physical ones would always be there. He wanted to keep them from Ianto for now. He wasn't ready for Ianto to see that, he knew Ianto would only worry about him more, and with all the worrying Ianto was doing for everyone else. It seemed no one was worrying about him.

He pulled himself away from the bed and padded into the kitchen. They'd have to get ready soon to go pick up Jack, and he wanted them to talk first. He settled about making two cups of coffee, knowing they would never do justice to what Ianto could create. Once they were done he headed back to the bedroom where Ianto was now sat up. He smiled shyly at him. Ianto smiled back.

"I thought...coffee, talk?" Jack says unsure. Ianto bites his lip before nodding slowly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7 **

Ianto doesn't think he's ever been this nervous. Jack is sat opposite him, two mugs of Coffee in front of them and it's a scene they've shared a thousand times before. Ianto doesn't feel much better when he sees just how nervous Jack looks as well.

"I can't tell you everything." Jack whispers. "And not because of rules or anything like that but because I don't want you to picture where I was, or...or what I've done."

Hearing how sad and scared Jack sounded Ianto reached across and took his hand. He squeezed it tightly waiting for Jack to continue. "I was young and naïve when I signed up for the army. Trying to impress a girl by showing her how brace I was. Only the war had ended and the only action I saw was imagining what everyone else had faced. Like everything over time the war was forgotten. I moved away, met the Doctor, became immortal and until I saw the letter I completely forgot that part of my life." He sighs.

"And you couldn't say no?" Ianto asks. He had to believe that given the choice, Jack would have stayed with him.

"Ianto." Jack says as he takes a breath. "Believe me, I would have rather stayed here with you. You don't say no to these people."

Ianto swore he could hear fear in Jacks voice, and if Jack was scared he knew it must be bad.

"They give you twenty four hours notice, if you don't report to them, they make you wish you had."

"What do they do?" Ianto asks though he was certain he didn't want to know.

"They destroy what means most to you. Make you mad and angry and want to kill."

Ianto gulps and Jack runs his thumb over his knuckles slowly and softly, knowing the action used to calm the younger man down. When he feels it working, he smiles inwardly. "Was it...Was it two years for you?"

Jack nods grimly. "It felt like so much longer. Every night I was certain decades were slipping by. Every night I thought of you. Every time I died I came round screaming your name."

Ianto couldn't control the tears that were falling down his cheeks. He got up and moved over to the older man and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around him tight, holding him as though his arms around him would mean he'd never be able to leave him again.

"When I came back, I came straight to you. I was scared that you'd have someone else. Never in a million years would I have thought..."

"He's my little miracle. When I was certain that I couldn't survive without you, I find out that I... and I had a part of you with me always. It got harder...but knowing...knowing he was yours...ours...it made everything easier because I knew you'd have to come back, knew you'd have to come home and see your little boy." Ianto whispers.

"I know I'm different. Mood swings and...but I'll be better. I...I'll get better, and the three of us, we...we can be a family."

"A family." Ianto repeats in a whisper.

Jack kisses his cheek and tightens his hold on him. "Your turn."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8 **

Ianto looks down and nods, he rests against Jack before he starts to talk. "The day after you left, I started to feel sick. I thought...I thought it was because I was so down about you not being around." He mumbles embarrassed. "But then it was a constant sickness, not just in the mornings. More, every minute of every hour of every day sickness. Owen was worried. I told him nothing to worry about. You know me, I don't like the fuss."

"Hope you out grew that." Jack whispers rubbing Ianto's arm softly as he speaks. Ianto smiles weakly and nods slowly.

"After a month. I started to notice things. Whenever I went to make coffee I felt sick. Like...not like I'm about to throw up sick, but just sick. My body felt more tired then sore and my stomach felt really tender. I thought I was going crazy. Well, at first I thought that an alien had made me go crazy."

Jack chuckles watching him. "I asked Owen to do some tests. I didn't tell him what I was worried about. Could you imagine what he would have said if I went, Hey Owen do you have any pregnancy tests for men? He would have...well, he would have done what he did when he found out. He would have laughed in my face."

Jack felt his blood run cold. "He laughed?"

"It was funny at the time. I mean...A pregnant man and all that? Me pregnant. I laughed too. And it felt good. Just laughing. Everything was falling apart but it felt good to laugh a little. That's until I laughed so hard and then I started to cry, and then I didn't know how to stop."

"Hormones in male pregnancy hit earlier then females." Jack says looking at Ianto.

"Yeah. They really do." Ianto sighs, fidgeting in his lap and getting more comfortable. "We didn't tell the girls at first. First of all we thought that they would freak out completely, then in case something happened..." Ianto looks down. "Owen kept me off heavy duties. I stayed in the Hub, did all the work like normal, but I wasn't looking after myself properly."

"Yan...?"

"I wasn't sleeping, and eating made me feel sick so I didn't. I hated being pregnant. Just before I was three months along I passed out. Owen found me in the archives, when I was awake he screamed at me. The girls heard and well, Owen screaming that I needed to look after myself because I was pregnant gave the game away. They didn't freak out though. They just...They was there. Gwen brought me in meals that wouldn't make me feel sick as much, and Toshiko gave me remedies for my sore ankles and nausea. Owen wasn't so stressed now he wasn't keeping this big secret and they were there. Rhys was the only one who freaked out."

"I can imagine." Jack smiles.

"But I was with him when he...when baby Jack decided it was time to say hello to the world."

"You were?"

"He was driving me home. I was on maternity leave but I was staying in the hub most of the time. I hated being here on my own. It was...lonely." Ianto holds onto Jack tighter. "We was in his van and my stomach felt as though it was being ripped open. I remember him screaming about not getting blood or anything on his new seats. And then it all went black."

"You...The pregnancy...the birth was okay?"

"I don't remember it. I remember being in his van and then I remember waking up on the autopsy table. And there was crying. So much crying."

"Babies do that when they come out." Jack smiles, tears in his eyes. He wished he could have been there.

"I couldn't hold him." Ianto whispers.

"Why?" Jack rubs his hips softly; soothingly.

"I was scared I was going to break him. Scared that he'd look too much like you. Scared he'd be an alien. Or sick... Owen couldn't figure out how I became pregnant. All the tests he'd done had come back like a normal pregnancy except for the obvious."

Jack nods slowly. "But you held him?"

"Yes. When I did I couldn't let go. He became my world." Ianto whispers looking at him.

Blinking back his tears, Jack leans forward and captures his lips in a soft kiss. "And now your worlds complete again." he promises.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9 **

Ianto couldn't sleep. He's stayed up all night staring from the walls in front of him, and then back to Jack who was sleeping soundly next to him. His strong arm was draped protectively and possessively around Ianto's waist, and even if he wanted to move; he wouldn't be able to without waking Jack up.

Jack had changed. Ianto hadn't thought Jack would ever change. He'd always thought that the older man would always be young and care free. Even now he tried to act it but behind his brilliant blue eyes he was damaged.

Yet despite this he felt better. After their heart felt conversation it had felt as though a very heavy weight had been lifted. He no longer felt like he was drowning. He didn't feel completely saved yet. However he was clutching to his life jacket; Jack. He'd seen into Jack's soul and, if he were totally honest with himself, it terrified him. It was like fire and wind and ice and anger and love and he never knew which one was most likely to rear its ugly head and It scared him. Truthfully it scared him that he didn't know when he would feel completely safe again.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day. Jack was going back to Torchwood. Ianto was terrified of what was going to happen. Jack's sudden departure had left the team divided. The first day Jack had left Ianto couldn't even bring himself to leave his bed, let alone go to work. This had worried everyone. Toshiko has come round. Using her spare key she had discovered Ianto curled on his bed, clutching the note Jack had left. She had held him through his numb state and they never really spoke about it. She was there for him when he needed someone to talk to without him asking for her to be. That had meant a lot to him. He'd lost count on how many times they had curled up on his sofa watching James Bond together. He felt himself smiling at the thought.

Gwen had been pissed. She'd still lusted after him. Ianto knew she believed it to be something else, but he knew that's all it was. She felt him leaving was a betrayal to her and blamed Ianto for it at first, but then when they discovered Ianto was pregnant she'd gone from a jealous child to a protective mother in seconds.

Owen was...Owen had turned from colleague to best friend and honestly, Ianto had no idea how it happened. Before he found out he was pregnant they had gone to the pub together; drowned their sorrows in pints of beer and bitched about Jack. Ianto vaguely remembers breaking down and having Owen carry him home, but that was something he didn't want to think about. Owen was there for baby Jack all the time. It was scary how good the man was with children despite him saying he wasn't. Ianto wanted Owen to be Jack's god Father, but he had never asked. He was going to one day.

Jack going back and seeing Owen scared Ianto the most. Owen was angry at Jack. He'd told him many times the day he saw Jack again would be the day Jack would die and never wake up. At first, Ianto had laughed telling him he'd give him the bullets for the gun; he was bitter and hurt, but now...now Ianto didn't want anything or anyone to hurt Jack again. Especially Owen.

"You're thinking too loud," Jack mumbled in his ear making Ianto jump. "You okay?"

"Can't sleep," Ianto admitted feebly.

"Then just rest, stop thinking," Jack whispered, he pulled him closer and Ianto let his head rest on Jack's chest, his strong heart beat taking away his nerves and fear. "Everything's going to be okay, Yan,"

Ianto nodded slowly, falling asleep hoping Jack was right.


	11. Chapter 11

"I missed this." Jack whispers, his hand was tightly being held by Ianto who was holding onto it just as tight. They were both using each other as life lines, both scared that the reality of what was happening would drown them both.

"Missed what?" Ianto asks looking up at him. For once the Sun was shining over Cardiff Bay. He wasn't too sure what to think of it. Was it a good sign? Did it mean that today would actually be okay like Jack said it would? Or did it mean that they should keep it for another day, when it was raining because that meant it would just be like another normal day in Wales. Either way, he didn't really have much of a choice. They were already at the hub.

"Holding your hand, Wales, everything." Jack blushes.

"I missed it too. All of it." Ianto whispers, leaning against him. He remembers back to before everything changed. Leaning against Jack like this would have made his whole body tingle with embarrassment. Now, it felt normal. There were far more important things out there for him to worry about then whether or not someone might look at him wrongly because he was holding hands with a man. He wished he'd felt like that before Jack left.

"Jack seemed happy this morning." Jack smiles.

"He has you in his life now, of course he's happy." Ianto says looking up at him. "He's complete now."

"He was complete before, he didn't know what he didn't have." Jack whispers. "You've done such an amazing job with him. If I was you..."

"You would have done the same." Ianto whispers. He thinks maybe Jack would have done a better job. He doubted Jack would have freaked out as much as he had. Jack shrugs and holds his hand tighter, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"I was thinking, maybe the three of us could go somewhere." he whispers.

"Go somewhere, where?"

"Away. Somewhere really nice. Somewhere the three of us can connect together, be a family."

"But you just got back." Ianto frowns. "I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I think we should. But...but right now you need to be here."

Jack watches him closely, he remembers how it was the night he first came back and he can feel himself pale. Ianto was scared of him. He didn't want to be alone with him in a place he didn't know.

"Okay." He sighs, defeated. He didn't want Ianto or their son to ever be scared of him.

The few minutes left of their walk was silent. Ianto looked deep in thought and Jack wanted to know what he was thinking. "Are you ready?" Jack whispers, looking at Ianto.

Ianto nods slowly, he feels like he should be asking Jack that instead. He doesn't feel ready though. He doesn't want them to know Jacks back. They'd slowly just gotten over the fact that he was gone. The pitying looks from the girls, and the worried glances from Owen were just starting to stop. He wasn't ready for them to come back again. They walked through the tourist office and they could hear the gentle chatter coming from the team. They padded through to the main area of the hub, the minute they all saw Jack the chatter stopped and silence broke through them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11 **

Ianto looked down as everyone approached. Gwen was first. She looked between Ianto and Jack before wrapping her arms around Jack tight and hugging him, the hug lasted almost a minute before she pulled away. "You have some explaining to do." She said, her Welsh voice harsh. She moved over to Ianto and went to hug him, but the look Ianto gave her made her back away. He didn't want the sympathy she was eager to give him.

"Jack..." Tosh whispered before hugging him. Jack embraced the petite woman and instead of saying anything to him she just smiled and whispered in his ear, "Glad you're back."

"Me too." Jack smiled. "Me too." He glanced over at Ianto who was staring at the floor as though it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Owen walked over to him next. He didn't embrace him like the girls had, he hardly looked at him, instead he looked over at Ianto. Feeling eyes on him Ianto looked up and sent a small private smile. A smile Jack saw and didn't like. "I'm going to put the coffee on, we're going to need it." Ianto escaped quickly and both Jack and Owen watched him leave.

"Where were you?" Gwen asked. "Ianto said you went to war..."

"I did. I'll explain." Jack sighed. He looked at Owen who was staring over at the small kitchen, looking for any signs that Ianto wasn't okay. "In the board room, over coffee and biscuits."

The girls nodded, Jack looked over at Owen and Owen looked at him. Anger and resentment burned through Owen's eyes and Jack wondered if Owen was angry that Jack left or that Jack had come back.

Ten minutes later and they were sat in the board room. Jack at the head of the table, Ianto and Owen on his right and the girls on his left. Jack didn't want Ianto and Owen to sit next to each other. He was certain that there was something between them now. Something he definitely didn't like.

Jack took a sip of the industrial strength coffee Ianto had made them all before he started his story. He told them about the war, told them everything he had told Ianto. He didn't go into details about how bloody and how graphic the war was, he didn't think any of them needed to know those details and he wasn't sure that he was ready to relieve them.

"Are you back now though? For good?" Gwen asked, breaking the silence that had washed over them once Jack had finished talking.

"I'm back." Jack nodded. "I want to say for good, but we all know that if I'm needed somewhere I can't say no. But know that I will always come back." The last line was aimed at Ianto who looked down. "I will always come back. I have the most beautiful son, and I don't want to miss another second of his life."

Gwen and Tosh shared small smiles at that. Owen just glared. "So you've what welcomes him back into your life?" He said looking at Ianto.

"I..."

"Owen." Toshiko sighed.

"No. He left you. You needed him and he just left, and suddenly he waltz back in and you drop everything for him. He'll stay for what a few years, act like the best father in the world but we all know what he'll do sooner or later, he will leave you again Ianto. You and your son." Owen snapped. Ianto blinked up at him, close to tears. He stood up quickly and ran out of the room.

Jack looked at Owen, a hateful glare on his face before he stormed out in search for Ianto.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12 **

Ianto slid down the wall of the archives, his body shaking. That wasn't how it was supposed to go. He wasn't too sure what he had been expecting. A warm welcome embrace for Jack and then everything to go back to normal? That's what he had wanted. He hadn't wanted what had happened. Though a part of him was thankful for Owen. The other part wanted to him hard.

"Where you two together whilst I was away?" Jack's booming voice startled him from his thoughts and Ianto stood up quickly. He didn't want Jack to see him feeling so weak and so pathetic, but there was something in Jack's voice that scared him. It reminded him of when he had first come back and the way he had pushed him against the wall. Fear ran through his body as he looked up at Jack. Anger was written all over the older man's face.

"What?" Ianto frowned.

"You and Owen. Where you together whilst I was away? It's a simple question Ianto. Now answer me!"

"No. We weren't!" Ianto snaps. How could Jack think that of him? "If you don't remember Jack I was pregnant!"

"Yeah, you were. But the way Owen was standing up for you then, there was definitely something between the two of you." Jack shouts back. Ianto was glad that the archives were so deep below the hub that no one would be able to hear the shouting that was coming from their mouths. Though, he was scared that they probably weren't watching which meant if Jack was to hurt him, no one would come down to help him. But Jack wouldn't hurt him, would he?

"He's my friend!"

"Your friend?" Jack laughed. "Are you that blind? The way he spoke to you when I was around. That's not a friend Ianto. What did you fall on your back for him? Open your legs for a bit of friendly attention. That's what you did for me wasn't it?"

Ianto felt his world freeze and turn to ice. Had Jack really said that to him? Fresh tears boiled behind his eyes and he pushed his way forward, he didn't touch Jack, he was scared too. He rushed past him and out of the hub, glad that no one was around to witness his downfall. He couldn't remember a time when Jack had been so mean to him. So... horrid. He went to the nursery and picked Jack up and tried to act as though nothing was wrong.

When Ianto got into the flat, he was suddenly scared that Jack would be there. He couldn't deal with seeing Jack right now. Fear ran through him at just the thought. He was glad that Jack wasn't there though. He locked the doors, though he figured that they would be useless. If Jack wanted to come in, then Jack would find his way in.

Ianto tried to not think about the mean things Jack had said, or the bitter tone Jack had said them in. Instead, he tried to focus all his attention on his son, playing with his new train set, drawing, and watching mind numbing cartoons. But always at the back of his mind was Jack, and the only words inside his mind were the malicious things Jack had said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13 **

Jack's whole body felt as though it was on fire. Anger sizzled inside him from his head to his toes and he had the need to just punch something, anything, anyone. His mind was swimming with confusion. All he could picture in his head was Ianto and Owen. Owen didn't get defensive like that for anyone. Especially not _tea boy_. Something had happened between them. Jack knew it. He felt sick as he thought of his baby growing inside Ianto, and Ianto doing things with Owen. Of all people, Owen. Last time he had checked the two weren't even friends. They certainly didn't like each other.

A knocking at the door snapped him out his thoughts, he turned his head ready to let rip at whoever was standing there. The anger seemed to stop when he saw Toshiko standing there. He couldn't let his aggression out on her. He just couldn't. "Come in." He sighed, defeated.

"Jack, where's Ianto?" She asked, stepping into his office slowly, almost hesitantly.

Jack looked down. "I... he ran off." Jack admitted feebly.

"What did you say to him?" Toshiko sighed. Jack looked up at her. How could she have known he said something to him? Maybe Owen's rant about him being back had caused Ianto to run off, but standing there in the office they both knew that, that wasn't the case. Jack had made Ianto do the one thing they both hated. Run.

"I...I just..."

"You just what Jack?" Toshiko snapped. Jack was stunned. He had never seen Toshiko like that. Toshiko was Switzerland. She didn't get into anyone's business, and no one went to her for the go between. "You followed him down to the archives, I saw you."

"I...We spoke."

"Spoke? Whatever you said caused him to flee from here pretty quickly." She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "If you've hurt him..."

"I'd never..."

"You're a different man. I can see it in your eyes. You look like Jack but there's something not right. Look at what you're doing now, Jack. Fists clenched at your side, that isn't like you. You're angry and you're lashing out. I can see it in your face that you want to lash out on Owen, so I sent him home."

"You're not in..."

"In charge here? No, now I guess you're back I'm not. But this isn't about taking control. This is about doing what's right, and the way you're acting. It's not right Jack. And you know it."

"I...I know." Jack sighed. "It's...Everything's changed."

"You left Jack. Two years is a long time. I know you were expecting to come back and have Ianto fall back to your side, and he has Jack. He didn't do anything with anyone while you were away. He carried and had your baby, and he was so scared Jack. He felt like a freak. And do you know who was there for him when his morning sickness got so bad he couldn't even make it to the bathroom, or when his mood swings made Gwen cry? Owen. Owen was there for him every step of the way."

"I should have..."

"You didn't know." Toshiko whispered. "But you're lashing out and pushing Ianto away, and you need to realise that you're not just pushing Ianto away any more. You're pushing your son too."

Jack looked down, surprised to find his eyes welling up with tears. "I was so mean to him Tosh." Jack admitted. The words he had spat at Ianto firing back at him like bullets.

"Go to him, Jack. Apologise. Explain what you're thinking, feeling."

"I'm scared." Jack hated the words that slipped from his lips.

"So was he, Jack. And he didn't have you. You have him." Toshiko said before walking out, leaving Jack with his thoughts.


End file.
